Dance Moms recaps from Channel Guide Magazine

“Dance Moms”: It’s up to you, New York guy, New York guy. Or not.

August 12, 2011 Lori Acken 4

So here we are, five episodes into the adventures of Abby Lee Miller and her flunky bunch, and I finally feel completely safe putting this out there. No, not that I think that if any other adult authority figure — say the real live school teachers whose time and efforts Miller thinks so little of — would subject pre-adolescent children to the kind of verbal firepower and exhaustive scheduling that she does, social services or someone might come a’runnin’. Abby says she’s just trying to emancipate these little girls from their mothers’ lack of trust and belief in their talent, […]

Cathy gets too gutsy and Kelly doesn’t have spirit, no she doesn’t, tonight on Lifetime’s “Dance Moms”

July 27, 2011 Lori Acken 1

By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA Fresh off of their hooch-ification of Lancaster, PA — in which Abby’s attempt at West Coast jazz/kiddie porn fusion resulted in one male judge taking photos, everyone else taking offense and the dance group taking home nothing but embarrassment — the Dance Moms and Abby Lee are more a-stew than ever. Well, maybe not so much crazy-eyed Kelly, who assessed her 9-year-old daughter in her inappropriate costume and cheerfully warbled, “Showin’ off that sexy little bod!”, thought the shocking “Electricity” dance number was just ginchy, and would happily glue rhinestones on the whole wide world […]

Tonight on “Dance Moms”: Wildly Inappropriate prosti-tots!

July 20, 2011 Lori Acken 9

By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuideLLA Hellooooooo, fellow members of Dance Mom Faithful For Better Or Worse. DaMoFFBoW, for short. If you’re wondering what we’re in for this week, suffice it to say two things, 1) The name of the episode is “Wildly Inappropriate.” And 2) Christi — she of the “as long as my $16K check is cashed and my kid learns to boogie, let’s drank!” mindset — pronounces Abby’s newest surefire idea for competitive victory “prosti-tots.”

Look out tiara-tot mamas, here come Lifetime’s “Dance Moms”

July 13, 2011 Lori Acken 35

By Lori Acken Follow @ChannelGuide The DVD screener for Lifetime’s Dance Moms, debuting July 13, is a curiosity. Not just what it contains, but what’s actually printed on the disc itself. To the top is militant but much sought after Pittsburgh dance teacher Abby Lee Miller and the quote, “If you want your daughter to be a star, you have to go through me.” To the bottom, three of the young girls Miller mentors (and often, in the opinion of this non-dance mom, bullies) in black wigs, bare midriffs and boas. So where are the Dance Moms? Oh they’re on here […]