Recap: Shameless Season 7, Episode 3 – “Home Sweet Homeless Shelter”

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Now that Frank got ousted from the family compound, what devious acts does he have up his sleeve this week? Let’s find out on the recap of Shameless Season 7, Episode 3 — “Home Sweet Homeless Shelter.”

Frank: Waking from a horrific dream in his new home of the homeless shelter, Frank tells his new girlfriend all about it. How his family was tearing his flesh away from his bones and Monica was drinking his blood with a straw. Wondering what sort of meaning this could have, they are given  the news that this particular homeless shelter will be closing by weeks end. Unfortunately, the closest shelter is 60 blocks away. Kick out the homeless just to make way for a container store? Frank’s not having it. Understanding the significance of his dream, he whips up a new “Gallagher” family. Feeling it’s a sign of getting a family do-over, he enlists a new Lip, Ian, Carl, Fiona, Monica and a boy he names Debbie. Now known as Daddy Frank, he promises he will find them shelter and food.

Hitting up the Alibi first, he storms in demanding Bloody Marys for all and says that they will be living upstairs now. Unfortunately for them, the new Russian bartender is working and eventually throws him out on the curb.

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Next, he drags them to Patsy’s — offering up a new place to eat, complete with crap food, crap service and bleeping management. Encountering a none to happy Fiona, he tries to introduce the new “Gallagher” family. Fiona, not having it, tells them to leave unless someone can cough up some cash. Frank hands her a stolen credit card, but Fiona just cuts it up. Liam then throws down a wad of cash proclaiming he stole it from his teachers purse. Aw, Frank is so proud of his little protégé! But it’s still not enough money, so they all start making a scene. To shut them up, she throws down some half-eaten plates of food, but only for the kids. Meeting the “new” Fiona, the real Fiona is disgusted and kicks them all out, threatening to call the cops. Frank puts all joking aside and is upset she would do that. He calls her out on not being a true Gallagher. Fiona snaps back with that she’s not a Gallagher any more anyway, since he disowned her. Touché.

Leaving their butt prints on the window, the new Gallagher clan follows “Daddy” Frank again, who spots an “Open House” sign and says he knows where they can get the best chocolate chip cookies. No stranger to the poor realtor, Sylvie, Frank drags the whole brood to scarf down all her sweets. Sylvie begs them to leave since Frank is trying dissuade the potential buyers and is rambling on about how the previous owner died in the house. New “Debbie” (Dan) asks if this will be their new house. Ding! A light bulb goes off in Frank’s head and “Home Sweet Homeless Shelter” is born!

They make themselves at home, but Sylvie is still trying to kick them out. Frank claims he contacted the owner and signed a one year lease, with the option to buy. Of course Sylvie’s not buying it, but she has no way to prove him wrong and he gets the kids to force her out the door. It dawns on Frank that there is power in numbers, so he races out and tells them to lock the door and not to leave no matter what.

Back at the homeless shelter, Frank gives a speech that only Frank can give about the up and coming “container store,” then invites the residents to his new shelter and leads the charge.

Back at the house, Sylvie returns with the cops to find the entire house filled with homeless folks. Trying to muscle them out, “Papa” Frank states that he talked to the owner of the house and he said it was OK to stay. Sylvie and the cops know darn well that he did not, but since she doesn’t know how to get ahold of the owner, it’s his word against hers. They will have to take it up in the courts.

Momentarily winning the housing victory, everyone is now hungry. Headed past a church on the way back after doing some dumpster diving, Frank has an epiphany!  Apparently he convinced the church to serve up food for them the next morning. But beforehand, the boy named Debbie prays that maybe the next day he can be a boy named Dan and says that “Daddy” Frank is the best daddy he has ever had.

Aw, “new” Debbie, you will never be Dan and never love new “Daddy” Frank!

Fiona: Getting home in the wee hours from a Tinder hookup — as Lip is also getting home from his hookup with Sierra — the pair have a little chat as Ian is cooking oodles of breakfast. Discussing the importance of each other’s occupations, Fiona is upset that, in Lip’s eyes, her paying job at a crap diner is not as not as important as his unpaid internship. She storms off to bed.

The next morning, she is up and at it. Getting a now lippy Liam off to daycare, she is reminded that he’s got a new, snotty attitude that he picked up from Frank. It escalates. She has to leave the diner to go pick him up since he punched some kid at daycare. At the same time, things are going downhill at Patsy’s in a hurry. In order to save money, she had to cut the quality of the food and menu items. And since she keeps getting called away with family emergencies — Ian, this time — she leaves the new hire, Sierra, in charge.

Upon returning from defusing the Ian situation, she is greeted by her very unhappy boss Chad and a super-chaotic diner. He’s riding her , saying that he can’t cover for her because he already gets enough grief from a high-school drop-out that can buy and sell him. WHOA! Did he just say that his boss is a high-school drop out? Yeah. More on that later.

After that promise she just made, and trying to get things back in check at the diner, Fiona is called away yet again for a problem with Debs. Freaking siblings!

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Finally back at work, Fi has some time to do some research on the main boss lady, Margo. Learning she is indeed a high-school drop-out — one who owns half the south side and is worth 300 million dollars — it gives her some hope for her own future. With that in mind, she calls a family meeting and reconfigures the way the family finances are going to work. Getting a long overdue backbone, she gives them all a bill to reflect how much they need to chip in every month in order to live there. If they don’t comply, she will just rent out their rooms or sell the house. Debs upset she has to pay more, but Fiona explains it’s because of the baby. She tells Debs to get a job and Debs’ need for a sitter is not her problem.

Carl argues that, since he bought the house, he shouldn’t have to pay. Since everything is in Fiona’s name, he has to cough up too.. She also asks to be at the bottom of everyone’s emergency contact sheet. With a new plan for herself since seeing a high-school drop-out can make something of themselves, she says she can’t do it if she is solving everyone elses’ problems. Lastly, she sets Lip straight that he is not the only one that can make something of himself, calling him an arrogant cuss-word that hopefully made it stick.

Ian: Working on getting over his breakup with Caleb he’s not sleeping and throwing all his time into work. Getting a call that they need to restrain a crazy chic, Ian crazily drives to the call. Knowing right off the bat that this girl is manic, he gets her to calm and gets her into the ambulance.While the ambulance is in route she complains that the restraints are hurting her and begs to have them taken off. Against his partners pleading with him to leave them on, she finally convinces him to take them off. The second he release her she jumps up, opens the back door and jumps out and nearly get run over by a car.

Ian’s boss Rita now at the scene is not happy. He recognizes he made a mistake and it won’t happen again. Better not she says and also states she will cover for him this time. However there is a video he has to watch. Arguing that he is fine and has been taking his meds she disagrees. In order to keep his job he HAS to watch the video.

Turns out to be a confessional of himself to himself that states if Rita is telling him to go home, GO HOME! Fiona now at the scene now too, convinces him that his meds can go out of whack when he’s under stress. Like oh, a breakup perhaps? They finally convince him to just take the week off and get himself in check.

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Returning home and Lip now seeing he is being kind of weird  they have a real heart to heart talk. Lip questions Ian about how when he’s manic he doesn’t know it until it’s to late. Lip encourages Ian to take the steps Ian needs to do to get himself in check again. But only after Lip confesses to Ian that he wishes that he would have done rehab before he got kicked out of school and ruined his life. Ian now obliging takes his meds that he needed to do. I almost teared up at this part, it was one of the most heartfelt momenta I have ever seen on this show.

Lip: At his “better than Fiona’s job” non-paid internship,” one of the owners is going for a record on a gaming challenge. With the whole office cheering on, it is Lip’s job as a grunt to make sure everyone stays well-hydrated and fed. Oh, and to clean the boss’ urine bag on demand.

Throwing attitude about getting them more food since he’s not a slave, Tito sets Liam straight that there were more qualified people he could have hired instead of him. Lip only got it as a favor to the Professor Youens since he could take a makeup test. Threatening to get rid of him, he says Lip might want to think about changing his mindset.

Guess the threat set in. Liam goes back to being the whipping boy that he is supposed to be.

Debs: With a slow down in business, she is a little short on paying her night nurse. Needing to find a way to get some new inventory, she takes to shoplifting from a baby store, feeling like she’s getting away with it until the store clerk totally busts her. Again, Fiona is called away from work. To avoid Debs getting arrested, the store clerk tells Fiona to just pay the more than $2,000 the stuff is worth. Shocked at this, Fi just pretends that Debs is “retarded.” Debs fortunately catches on right away and plays along. Away they go!

Back at home, Debs argues her point that she needs to make money so she can be a good mom. Fiona reminds her that if she would have gotten arrested, she wouldn’t even have a baby to be a good mom, too. Guess she’s going to find a new way. Like, a real job. Why not recruit one more Gallagher to work at the restaurant, Fi?

Carl: Carl learns from Dom’s dad, Luther, that Dom has contracted an STD. Chasing him out of the house, Carl heads back to the doc and accuses him of giving him an STD. He’s seen TV — that can happen! Poor Carl is set straight when the doctor laughs at him and says “that’s not the hole it goes in” and he should think of this pain the next time he is about to have sex without a condom. The scream Carl let out sure sounded like it made for a lesson worth remembering.

Tracking down Dom to confront her, Carl just gets the cold shoulder as Dom rides off on the bike he bought for her. Poor naive Carl is clueless on how she can have an STD and he is clean. Uh, duh — you are not the only guy! Apparently he hasn’t put that together since it took talking to Lip and Ian about it to wise him up. As they gently try to break it to him that she has been with other guys, he just has a dumbfounded look on his face. Like, did she get it from a toilet seat? Aw, poor Carl. Guess you should have gone to sex ed class. Wait, do they still have that?

Even more curious now, he stalks Dom at night to see where she is going. Following her to a frat house, he takes some pictures for proof of her making out with some guy, steals back the bike he got for her and heads off to talk to her old man. Daddy isn’t too pleased that his precious little girl is at a frat house! Getting a police squad to bust the joint, he lets Carl tag along, both hoping for some gunfire.

Thrupple: With the ice cream truck fully restored into the Nooks and Fannies cleaning van — complete with fully airbrushed graffiti of the girls on it — Thrupple is now checking out the custom car seats Kev had made for the kids when a stinky stranger appears behind them. As Kev is telling the man to back off,  Svetlana turns around and is immediately immersed in a Russian screaming match. With a full-on knock-down drag-out brawl underway, Kev finally pulls her off him. Spitting blood, Svetlana proclaims that the stinky stranger is her father and that he will be staying with them.

Wow. Some family reunion!

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Svetlana gives her sh*t-smelling father, who apparently was smuggled into the country in a cattle crate, a hose-down, while Kev and V discuss that he can’t stay with them. Remember? He sold her into sex slavery and, well, they all have kids. They break the news to Svetlana,but  she makes a valid point that they do everything together but now she has no say in this decision. She says he can run the bar, while they handle the van business.

V is not totally on board with this as the two bicker at their first “Nooks and Fannies” adventure. Kev, meanwhile, plays pimp babysitter in the van, getting paid off by a neighbor to move the offensive vehicle. Realizing there is more money to be made in that than the actual service itself, he gathers the girls and starts driving around to various neighborhoods. Good thing that first customer got that for free!

New episodes of Shameless premiere Sundays at 9/8CT on Showtime.