True Tori Recap: Episode 7, the Reunion: All Questions Answered

Tori Spelling

Tori SpellingThe True Tori reunion special. For the first time since Dean left for Chopped: Canada, Tori and Dean sit down to answer Brooke Anderson’s questions. Brooke, who perhaps raided Dr. Wexler’s closet for her pantsuit choice is charged with not only asking the pressing questions, but keeping a straight face throughout the circus ridiculous.

On with the acting, show!

Brooke Anderson prefaces each of her questions with “A lot of people.” Who are these people? Where are they? Because I can’t find them on any chat boards and certainly not reading and commenting on my recaps.

Watching the show’s recap makes me realize that Tori Spelling is the greatest whisperer of out generation. I haven’t seen such effective whisper-talking since Patrick Duffy’s whisper-talking tour de force in Dallas.

First, Brooke sat down with Tori.

Why was it important to document this process?
Tori felt like since the affair was already in the media, the only way to stop the intense scrutiny and stop people from talking about her, was to take control.

Why is Tori still with Dean?
It’s because of the kids. Tori says she and Dean have “four little beings” to think of.
She also says, “I’m also in love with him, I can’t go back and take away eight years. It felt important to try and work it out.”

Considering that they were both married to other people when they got together, is it Karma that Dean cheated?
“Obviously what happened was hurtful to other people, but you can’t help when you fall in love with someone,” Tori explains. “I didn’t actively look for it, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
If this love was so intense, couldn’t they have controlled their urges long enough to end their current relationships? Because this instant, insatiable “Love” that Tori describes sounds a lot more like “Lust.”

Is it hypocritical for Tori to be critical of the paparazzi because she has invited cameras into her life?
When Tori has asked the paparazzi to stop taking photos of her children, they have confronted her and told her that she chose this life.
“I chose to be in the entertainment industry, I chose to be on camera, but I didn’t ask them to violate [her life]. They cross boundaries that aren’t ok. They run red lights. They chase us.”
When you don’t want to be chased and bothered, perhaps don’t go to the fabric store, the party supply shop, the yogurt place, the nail salon, the spa, for coffee, out for dinner, or shopping. In all of these places, over a 3-week span, “media shy” Tori sat or stood in plain view of plate class windows. Amazon ships to 90201, I promise.

Why did Tori and Dean have allow their kids to be taped when the topic was so raw?
Because they’re super parents! “I want them to watch this show when they’re adults.” They can watch the DVD with their therapists.

Why didn’t Tori ask Dean if he cheated with other women?
“I was afraid. I’m still afraid,” Tori said. “I feel like there’s no good answer. If he says that there weren’t any other women, I don’t if right now, I can believe him.”

Will you ask him tonight?
“Yes, I’m ready now.”
We’ll see if Tori asks Dean-o for the peen deets.

After the break, Brooke Anderson sits down with Dean, who has finally gotten a haircut.

Why did you participate in the show?
“I brought this on myself and my family. I wanted to own up to it and make things right.”

Cue a montage of Dean in flannel and v-neck tees, and his fairytale sexual expectations.

Has he watched the show?
“No.”
Neither has anyone else.

Tori Spelling

Another montage of Dean grasping his head and turning attention from his affair to his safely.

What was the hardest moment?
“The hardest thing was when Tori decided to let me have it.”

Dean and the wing sauce. Why did the criticism set him off?
“I was in my ego and I needed to check myself.”

After another break, Mehran, Jess and Wolf are interviewed while Tori sits nearby.

Mehran, what did you think of the therapy sessions?
“It was really tough to watch. It was sad.”

Wolf, why did you get so worked up during the dinner scene?
“Liam’s not a dummy, he sees things and hears things.”

After the break, we got to revisit the Tori and Dean ugly-cry-fest. Tori said it was hard for her to watch but that she needed to get it out. Dean said it was hard for him to watch too. Ditto.

Was Dean’s affair fabricated — was the woman fake?
Tori “I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I wish it was made up.”

Why can’t anyone effectively Google or find Emily Goodhand? (whose name sounds just like a porn star)
“People get their histories scrubbed all the time…there are things you can do to erase your profiles online,” explains Dean. “She exists.”
I wish I could more effectively scrub a few unfortunate photos of me on the internet. Since Emily Goodhand is obviously an IT professional, how can I find her to scrub this history? Oh wait…

Tori SpellingAs a grand gesture for Tori, Dean got the wedding vows that Tori wrote for their wedding tattooed on his left ribcage. Tori already has the vows that Dean wrote for her tattooed on her own ribs. And when Dean lifted his shirt, it was as majestic as you’d imagine. Dean pledged to never break those vows again. Maybe the next time he cheats, his mistress will take the time to read the vows since the word “Tori’s” above his man-bits wasn’t a deterrent last time.

Tori Spelling

Dean has another surprise for Tori! Tori covers her face like a surprised pageant queen, we will have to wait until after the break to find out if it’s a diamond tiara.

After the break, while we’re waiting for Dean’s big surprise, Brooke asks if this experience has been good for their relationship. They both say yes because it’s forced them to confront their relationship head on.

They also reveals that Dean has installed security cameras in his hotel room so Tori can check up on him, but thus far, Tori hasn’t logged in to see what he was up to. Those camera’s would be my new screensaver. I used to watch my baby monitor for hours to watch my boys sleep and also to bust them for being turkeys.

Brooke asks if Tori and Dean have been intimate since “this all happened” and Tori demurred and said the question was too personal. Say whaa?!? You revealed that you have tummy bumps, your husband wants to be “the cat’s ass,” and you did some kink-o stuff with Dean, but asking if you’re still having sex, in the vaguest of terms, it’s too private? Puh-leaze! “We’ve definitely had intimate connections?” That sounds even grosser!

Tori SpellingUp next, Dr. Wexler chats with Brooke. And it’s like looking into a blazer-clad mirror.
They talk about Dean’s recovery and that time that Dr. Wexler hospitalized him because he seemed like an imminent threat to himself.

After the break, Tori tells Brooke that she’s too much of a chicken to ambush Dean and ask if he’s cheated with other women. Boo!!!!!!

Brooke askes a few questions from Twitter fans,
The best one, ”Tori, do you ever feel bad for Dean’s first wife and how you broke up that family?
“Of course. I don’t see it as I broke up his marriage, that was his decision.” I knew he was married and I was thinking. ‘this is wrong, this is wrong,’” But she reverted to her party line, “But we fell in love. We had that connection, it was instant.”
Tori continued, “I always said, at the time, if this ever should happen to me, I don’t think I’ll blame the woman, I would blame my husband. I still, to this day, I don’t blame Emily, I don’t blame her at all. I blame Dean. Completely.”

Dean’s surprise, a song that he wrote for Tori. Another homemade gift that would be sweet if done by a child. When it’s an adult, it’s just sad. Jewelry, Dean. Always jewelry.

The path of destruction is lonely,
Weight left behind is the proof.
Broken trust for a dance with lust,
Heartache and sorrow’s the proof.

“I’m sorry forever” is never enough,
The pain I would take sets you free
You’re the one thing, for certain, that I’ve ever loved
The one thing I can’t go without,
Is this love … this life … and these moments … my wife.

I love you and I’m sorry forever.

“Who knew that Dean was the next Bob Dylan?” Said nobody ever.

And then they teased that next week will have ANOTHER True Tori clip show. Aaaaaahhhhh!!!

If you have 44 minutes to kill, and you’re cable subscriber is one of the chosen few, you can click to watch all of the True Tori Reunion.

1 Comment

  1. Tori gives a whole new meaning to Horse Whisperer, doesn’t she?! I never watch their ridiculous shows, but I read your articles and laugh my ass off at your commentary! Love your sense of humor!
    My two cents: Dr Wexler needs to infirm Tori, no one was talking about, nor are they interested in Tori and Dean! She needs to tweak Tori’s meds that are causing Tori’s illusions of grandeur.
    Tori needs to go to a bonafide rehab to deal w/ her addictions: cosmetic surgery, reality tv, drugs, spending, anorexia etc. Dr. Wexler will be able to buy a Beach house in Malibu, treating all of Tori’s issues
    Social services should pay them a visit, if for nothing else, to scare the crap out of Tori Dean! Those kids are living w/ two mentally unstable parents, in a stable w/ farm animals! Not to mention all of Dean’s drug addictions and suicidal thoughts!
    Dean desperately needs voice and acting lessons. Better yet, he needs to go back to working construction, where someone will tell him to stop painting his toe nails.
    Lastly, they need to save every penny for their children’s therapy; especially Liam! He is going to be the most f**up based on all of those embarrassing hair cuts!

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