By Tom Comi
It would be an understatement to say The Celebrity Apprentice lacks legitimate stars, and it would be misleading to say that the contestants are remotely bright enough to ever work for Donald Trump in real life. But it would 100-percent accurate to say that the show is the kind of train-wreck television that makes it almost impossible to turn away from.
I tuned in for the premiere episode Sunday night (9 pm ET on NBC) thinking I would just watch one time, and what transpired over the next two hours has me hooked for the entire run. Here are just a few of the developments that took place and, more importantly, what viewers can look forward to down the road:
* Former Survivor winner Richard Hatch is a bully and will eventually get physically hurt. He might have gotten away with pushing David Cassidy around in the premiere, but he will get decked it he pulls it on bigger guys like Jose Canseco, Gary Busey or Meat Loaf.
* Gary Busey (pictured) could be the craziest person every to appear on the show, and that speak volumes when you consider that Dennis Rodman was once a contestant. If he and La Toya Jackson ever have a conversation, even subtitles wouldn’t help to decipher what they are trying to say.
* Star Jones will eventually have to do some manual labor, unlike in the premiere when she refused to get her hands dirty by helping her teammates make pizzas. Also, her little dog that she travels everywhere with will eventually become more despised than she is.
* Lisa Rinna is far too emotional and thin-skinned, and it will ultimately lead to a nervous breakdown or getting fired (whichever comes first). She is also big-lipped, but that will have no bearing on her demise.
* Marlee Matlin has always been a great ambassador for the deaf, and this show will give her an even greater platform to demonstrate how intelligent and resilient she is. Along with country singer John Rich, she is definitely a darkhorse candidate to become The Donald’s apprentice.
* At some point, Dionne Warwick will get lost in New York City, and all of the other contestants will have to team up with the Psychic Friends Network to find her.
* Finally, I am predicting now that Charlie Sheen will be a contestant on the 2016 season of The Celebrity Apprentice. He is far too famous now to appear, but he will be enough of a has-been in five years to warrant serious consideration. Duh, WINNING!
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Cast shot: © NBC Universal, Inc. Credit: Mitchell Haaseth
Busey: © NBC Universal, Inc. Credit: Virginia Sherwood
