By Stacey Harrison, Karl J. Paloucek
It’s Friday. For most people, it’s the end of the school or work week. But if you’ve been following the hype trail leading up to the release of Kick-Ass, it’s not just any Friday — it’s the Friday at which one of the year’s most “highly anticipated” films hits theaters and either becomes a pop-culture milestone or sinks like a millstone. We love it when movies live up to the ballyhooing that precedes their release, but holy smokes, a lot of them go down in flames. As we wait to find out whether Kick-Ass actually does or not, let’s take a look at some of the most-hyped films in recent years and see whether they warranted all of the yapping and furious blogging — good and bad — that they generated on their roads to release.
Titanic (1997)
James Cameron won’t win many personality contests, but the man knows how to make the biggest movie of all time. He’s done it twice, and both times, did it in the face of negative buzz filled with anticipated schadenfreude of the big-talking, bigger-spending filmmaker slipping on a $200 million banana peel. Back in 1997, Titanic seemed an odd choice for the man best known for stories about Terminators and acid-bleeding aliens, and the ever-escalating budget led to many forecasting that Cameron’s stock would sink faster than … well, you know. But then came that trailer, showing the breathtaking footage of the ship going down. Mix that with a heart that just kept going on and on, and you got a movie that set the world box-office record and tied the record for most Oscars won. — SH
Avatar (2009)
Twelve years later, Cameron said his next movie, Avatar, was going to be a “game-changer.” He was talking more about the revolutionary motion-capture technology he helped develop that allowed CGI creations to mirror the movements of actors more realistically than ever, but such self-aggrandizing claims bred skepticism. Then doubt. Then certainty that this was all a sham. This time, the trailer didn’t help, leaving many to wonder, “Is that it?” Cameron did get some benefit of the doubt, but it was hard to believe that after all the hype and the gargantuan budget that Avatar could possibly deliver. Boy, did it. Dances With Smurfs comments aside, Avatar dethroned Titanic as the all-time box-office king, snagging a bevy of Oscar noms and solidifying the current 3-D craze.
It reminds me of that Simpsons episode when Barney is irked at Moe charging him $45 for an illegal bottle of hooch. “This better be the best tasting beer in the world!” Then, after drinking, his still stern face says, “You got lucky.” — SH
Twilight (2008)
Not since, well, Titanic has a film driven the teen and preteen girl audience so completely bananas. Fans of Stephenie Meyer’s novels flocked to the blogs and message boards like they were made of Johnny Depp and before the movie was even released, “the Twilight phenomenon” was practically a household phrase. The tragic romance of young mortal Bella and her beau, the mysterious and sullen vampire Edward Cullen, was the stuff of dreams and exquisite nightmares — especially for parents who had to drive their kids to see it. The gotta-see-it factor for the series’ considerable fanbase made it an inevitable winner at the box office, but opinions naturally were mixed: The usual complaints of “not as good as the book” echoed, but were effectively drowned out in a sea of “Oh-my-God-he’s-so-gorgeous” Pattinson euphoria. Since then, in addition to its sequels, the blood-sucking sound of profiteering can be heard in copycat projects like The CW’s Vampire Diaries. But what about the film itself? Does it really warrant all of the hysteria? I’d give you my forthright opinion but frankly I really don’t need the ensuing aggravation. — KJP
Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace (1999)
I remember people lining up outside a theater just to see the trailer for this thing. I remember, because I was one of them. After having long given up on the idea that there was any chance of ever seeing a new Star Wars movie, I geeked out when George Lucas promised to tell the story of how Anakin Skywalker fell from grace and became Darth Vader. We’d see Obi Wan, Yoda, Luke and Leia’s mom, the Jedi at full power, heck yeah! Where’s my ticket? Well, from the opening crawl, you knew something wasn’t right. Instead of “It is a period of civil war,” we got, “the taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.” Right there, we’re in the passive voice, which is an appropriate gauge for how the prequels made audiences feel. In the original trilogy, we felt a part of Star Wars, thrilling to the adventure and wondering how the heck they put all that onscreen. With the prequels, we were sitting slack-jawed, looking at our watches and murmuring the name Jar Jar Binks in our nightmares. Yes, some of this can be attributed to grown-ups no longer being able to see Star Wars through a child’s eyes, but I doubt anyone would say the prequels even approached the energy, sharp plotting and, yes, wit of the originals.
They made gobs of money and did manage to right themselves somewhat by Episode III, but Phantom Menace remains almost the cinematic definition of a letdown. Don’t just take my word for it. Try Patton Oswalt. Or this guy. Or The People vs. George Lucas, which is all about hardcore fans’ conflicted feelings toward the prequels. — SH
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Part of the trouble with the Star Wars prequels was that George Lucas was surrounded by yes men. There was no one to tell him that we didn’t care about trade disputes, midi-chlorians, and votes of no confidence. But with Indiana Jones, he’d have Steven Spielberg around, and Spielberg is nobody’s definition of a pushover. From that first glance of Harrison Ford back in the fedora, everything felt right. We were even going to get Karen Allen back! But when the movie came out, it was far from universally loved. There were minor quibbles about Shia LeBeouf and his vine-swinging ways, but the biggest complaint was the inclusion of aliens, as though that was too far out of line with what we all loved about Indy. You know, the same Indiana Jones who had fought off supernatural forces in every single one of his previous movies. Spirits flying out from the Ark of the Covenant, witch doctors who can take your still-beating heart from your body, centuries-old knights defending the Holy Grail, this we can all accept. But aliens? I’ll go ahead and defend Crystal Skull here, saying while it’s a bit of a step down from the first three films, it’s certainly not a rape of one’s childhood. Maybe they’ll get to that in Indy 5. — SH
The Matrix sequels (2003)
When The Matrix came on the scene in 1999, there were no expectations that it would become the sci-fi movie event of that year, especially considering that the first new Star Wars film in 16 years was about to descend. But with a mind-bending plot and the use of now iconic bullet-time photography, the adventures of Neo going down the cyber rabbit hole became a touchstone of the genre. When the Wachowski brothers said they had not one, but two sequels planned that would take a deeper look into the war between humanity and the machines, the world rejoiced, collectively donning the requisite black trenchcoat and shades in anticipation. Then Matrix Reloaded came out and, yeah, made some money, but totally bewildered fans and hangers-on alike, what with its dance-fueled orgies, circular philosophical musings and pointless action sequences. I mean, really, dudes, when we get down to it, we’re talking about a bunch of computer programs trying to delete each other. By the time Matrix Revolutions came out, we saw it more out of a sense of duty than anything. Here’s where we could have used a little of that “leave them wanting more” approach. — SH
Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone (2001)
It’s hard to believe now, but there was a time when the idea of making all seven books in J.K. Rowling’s young-wizard saga into films seemed like pie-in-the-sky thinking. Wouldn’t the kids get too old? Would the older actors live long enough? (Answer: Nope.) And, oh yeah, what’s going to happen in the last three books? There was much trepidation as the first film made its way to theaters, that this American at the helm with these unknown kid actors might screw it up, and maybe even damage interest in the book series. Director Chris Columbus understandably played it safe, making Sorceror’s Stone slavishly faithful to the source material, and the fact that he took crap for that just shows you that adapting a beloved book is often a no-win situation. But audiences ate it up, making Harry’s first outing the year’s top movie (besting the first Lord of the Rings movie), and still the highest-grossing entry in the series.
While it’s not the most revered Potter movie, Sorceror’s Stone did its job, establishing the world and characters that future directors felt much more comfortable playing around with. But the real legacy might be how, along with Lord of the Rings, it made the idea of adapting multi-part book series whole hog seem doable. It doesn’t always work (Here’s looking at you, Golden Compass, Percy Jackson), but never again will it seem impossible. — SH
The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)
Holy socks, was there a lot of buzz leading up to Peter Jackson’s adaptations of the Tolkien trilogy. The long-supposed unfilmable story was ingeniously conquered by a clever shooting schedule that had all three films shot at once, making the project manageable and giving the three installments great continuity. But no matter how well done, there were bound to be some disappointed by the telling. And well, that might just include me. The films are an incredible accomplishment, make no mistake, and are certainly as accurate an interpretation as Hollywood would ever have been likely to muster, but … they’re still Hollywood films, done in a Hollywood style, when the original material is so quintessentially British. Remembering back to how John Huston adapted a Kipling short story into the epic The Man Who Would Be King, I’ve often wondered what his approach to LOTR might have been. Having voiced the part of Gandalf in some of the early animated Tolkien projects, he obviously was acquainted with the work. I like to think he would have taken them a little slower, dialed down the histrionics by about 80 percent and brought out more nuance in the story itself, but there’s no point in it, is there? The movies are made and Huston is dead. (Long live Huston.) — KJP
Godzilla (1998)
A big-budget update of the charmingly cheesy Japanese Gojira movies by the director of Independence Day should have been a slam dunk. Hell, I’m getting excited just reading about it again. Then, oh yeah, I remember that they made Godzilla into a giant iguana. And that they spent half the movie chasing down much less scarier baby Godzilla iguanas. And that it featured Matthew Broderick in that sketchy post-Ferris Bueller, pre-Election phase when his presence in movies was pretty much a non-starter. And that crappy, crappy soundtrack album that had Puff Daddy (as he was known then) desecrating a Led Zeppelin song, with Jimmy Page inexplicably by his side. And Maria frickin’ Pitillo. God, what happened? As far as box-office goes, it was supposed to be a shoo-in for one of the year’s biggest movies. It ended up placing 9th, just ahead of Patch Adams. Audiences were never so happy to go back to the old man-in-suit monster movies. — SH
The Godfather: Part III (1990)
Oh, Francis, Francis … where did it all go wrong? And did it? Could Winona Ryder have made the difference, sidestepping the Sofia Coppola issue in toto? Was it because there was no De Niro, Duvall or Brando to give it that extra bit of class? Part III is by no means a perfect film nor the perfect coda to such a masterfully told story, but I think it does get something of a worse rap than it deserves. Yes, some of the writing is subpar of what we expect from the series, and the casting and acting are uneven, but I tend to think that a large part of the emotional response people initially had to this film was its being set in 1979 – an era not so readily romanticized in 1990, a mere 11 years later. Gone are the seriously cool cars, the quaint neighborhood fruit stands (full of oranges), the nostagia-rich homes with their kitchens full of old-world home cooking. The property at Lake Tahoe has fallen into ruin and Michael’s diabetic complications eclipse his fears of being gunned down. But if there’s one scene that justifies the film’s existence and makes it worthy of the series as a whole, it’s gotta be that “death from above” helicopter attack. — KJP
Photos: Kick-Ass: © Marv Films/Lionsgate Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace: © 1999, Lucasfilm Ltd. and 20th Century Fox. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: © & ™ 2008 Lucasfilm Ltd. Credit: David James The Matrix Reloaded: © 2003 Warner Bros. Entertainment Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Godzilla 2000: © 2000 Columbia TriStar International Television
