By Mike Frey
Synopsis: Some jokes are not meant to be told in mixed company. Ted understands that difference between “boy funny” and “girl funny,” but apparently Barney and Marshall do not — which is why they insist on telling Lily a dirty joke that results in her disappearing for four weeks. Of course, given the recent developments in Alyson Hannigan’s real life, that’s not the real reason we won’t be seeing much of Lily for a while. In either case, her absence proves a shame for Barney, who could really use her help this week. But more on that later …
Since losing his job and deciding to open up his own firm — Mosbius Designs — things have been going slowly for Ted. He has no clients but he does manage to hire a personal assistant and protégé named P.J., who, to Barney’s chagrin, is not a hot girl for Ted to sleep with. Worse yet, he is a hot guy for Robin to sleep with. After a bad first impression, P.J. begins to grow on Robin, because he’s the guardian of the bathroom key and according to Robin, “A hot guy telling you when you can and cannot pee” is “the dream.” That’s right. The one Martin Luther King was talking about. Robin and P.J. begin dating, but P.J.’s work begins to suffer so Ted fires him. Once he’s unemployed, Robin’s interest in P.J. wanes so she dumps him — which once again makes him a valuable employee, so Ted rehires him. And so on.
The employment situation at Goliath National Bank is equally dicey, with mass layoffs looming. Marshall needs to become indispensable to the company, so Barney suggests he finds that one thing that will make him a guy. (No, not that thing.) There’s already a food guy, a toy guy, a YouTube clip guy and a creepy back rub guy. Barney rejects Marshall’s ideas to become the eco guy, the wacky tie guy, the daily fun fact guy, the “I know a good stretch for that” guy or the Monty Python guy, instead suggesting that he become the sports guy and run the company’s fantasy baseball league. (He can’t be fantasy guy, because that name is taken by a role player in a cloak.)
The episode’s two plots come together when Barney is forced to rely on Marshall to get P.J. away from Robin, since Lily is nowhere to be found. Marshall kills two birds with one stone, hiring P.J. as a paralegal and having him run the fantasy league, which has become way too much for Marshall to handle. He still gets to be sports guy — without any of the work — and P.J. is out of the picture. Who needs Lily, anyway?
What We Liked:
• “A Penny Saved Is a Penny Marshall”
• “Hey, Ted, the table just told me you’re a douche.”
• The super smooth newspaper delivery guy with the dirty hands, who Robin meets at MacLaren’s. We’ve found that nothing gets a girl hotter than the words, “Don’t worry, I’ll wash them before I handle your business.”
• “I love … Ted … having sex with women.” — Barney attempting to explain why he wants P.J. out of the picture, without revealing his feelings for Robin
• Barney recruiting Marshall to storm off with him because one person storming off isn’t enough to demonstrate his displeasure
What We Didn’t Like:
• Never finding out the punchline to the joke, “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?”
• Having to wonder, “How does Ted’s ass taste?” Unlike P.J., we assume it tastes like something other than genius. Thanks, Robin.
• The Cuddle Club. Nobody who’s old enough to get into MacLaren’s should be watching TV in bed with his mother.
Best Barneyism: “I don’t love her, OK? I just miss her when she’s not around, I think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and I’m wearing a brown suede vest.” — Barney, not convincing Marshall that he’s not in love with Robin
I heard the punchline to a very similar joke from a cabby recently.
Cabby: What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
Me: What?
Cabby: I can’t jelly my * up your *
* edited for being overly hilarious
Well played CQB, well played.
Ted should quit Mosbius Designs and start his own architecture firm. That’ll show ’em.