By Stacey Harrison
The interns are back this week, but the show still seems to be suffering a severe case of the not-badsies. Nothing too memorable, and if this is indeed the final season, why are we spending so much time meeting the new guys? I get the whole idea of wanting to instill that Sacred Heart will go on long after the show is over, but seriously, is there no end to how many interns they can bring in? If we insist on hearing the thoughts of minor characters, I’d really like to know what’s going on in Snoop Dogg Intern’s head. Or how about The Todd?
J.D. starts out as the focus, as he’s starting to become to new hotshot among the staff for having the stones to stand up to Dr. Cox. After his confrontations result in more nurses being hired, Carla even goes so far as to tell Turk that during their next love session that he won’t be the only one thinking about J.D. Turk is insanely jealous but won’t let J.D. know, and meanwhile J.D.’s head is getting so big that it might even topple the World’s Most Giant Doctor. Thank goodness the Janitor is around to take him down a notch. He makes J.D. believe that by just saying “popsicle,” he can put the Janitor to sleep thanks to a Vegas hypnotist’s routine that was cut short 15 years ago. He uses a food fight in the cafeteria to show J.D. he’s been duped.
Elliott is busy not listening to her intern, Denise, who wants to do a messy biopsy on a teen girl. Not only does Elliott not believe it’s necessary, but she has a strict policy of never listening to interns. Denise gets Elliott to cave by promising to tell people she wishes Elliott were her big sister. While Elliott is touched, it doesn’t stop her from doing The Running Man to rub it in Denise’s face when the test comes back negative. What’s not so funny is the girl now has an ugly scar on her face. Elliott explains that this is why she doesn’t listen to interns, because no matter what happens with a patient, she is the one responsible.
Turk finally lets his jealousy of J.D. out, and it leads to a tiff between them with new intern Derek as the go-between. Derek barely says a word, instead letting his narration tell us how much he hates being put in this position.
Another intern is suffering, but it’s because she’s not being included. Sunny Dey is relentlessly cheerful, which would seem to make her No. 1 on the Janitor’s hit list. But he refuses to engage her, telling her he doesn’t think she could take it. She spends the rest of the episode obsessing over this, until Janitor lets her know that was the idea all along. Later, when he flicks some paint on her, she couldn’t be happier.
It all comes to a head when Denise decides she can’t let Elliott take the blame, and she goes in to tell the patient that the biopsy was her idea. Derek (“he’s like a male Halle Berry,” J.D. says) decides to not hold his tongue either, ripping into Cox, Turk, Carla and J.D. for all their petty fights. It earns him the respect of everyone the next day.
Best moment: When Katie and the bug-eyed intern make out in an elevator, with Katie later writing it off as merely giving him “the side boob.” She then says she’ll give anyone the side boob, including Denise who’s sitting right next to her. Denise obliges, and while that is amazingly awesome, the Todd is nowhere to be found.
Runner-up: Turk and J.D. revisit their pimp stride walk through the halls from years before. This time J.D. is shirtless, because he’s been working out.
Photo: © ABC/SCOTT GARFIELD
