Getting Lost: “Cabin Fever” Review

Posted by Mike and johnnysweeptheleg

What did we learn from last night’s episode of Lost? Well, for one thing, this cat Keamy is a bad mother — sorry, I was talkin’ about Shaft. But Keamy is not one to be trifled with. Or to be in close proximity to. Just ask the doctor. We also saw Ben reduced to sharing a candy bar with Hurley on the sidelines while Locke sought answers from Jacob. It sucks not to be the Island’s chosen one anymore, doesn’t it, Ben? And we also learned that Richard Alpert is a man with a plan — a long-term plan, since he was recruiting Locke 50 years before he was ever wheeled onto Oceanic 815. As for the rest, here’s johnnysweeptheleg …

johnnysweeptheleg’s Lost In A Moment:

I have no doubt that had John Locke been one of the Oceanic 6, there would’ve been an E! True Hollywood Story about his life. His teenage mom was a 1950s-era Jamie-Lynn Spears and gave birth to a premature John after being run over by a car. The father? An older man more than twice her age. All you need is some White Lightnin’ and you’ve got the makings of a classic country song, here.

Richard Alpert, the king of the Guyliner, pays Baby Locke a visit in the hospital. Is he Locke’s father? It would seem so, as a half-dozen years later, he pays Locke another visit to conduct a test. On his search for the chosen one, Alpert thinks he’s found his kid once he’s seen the picture of the smoke monster that Little Locke has drawn. But Little Locke fails the object test when he chooses a knife as one of his objects. Methinks Alpert was looking for Locke to choose the eyeliner. Like father like son. Or at the very least, just the compass and smoke monster residue in a bottle. But not the knife. Sorry, Locke, you lose again.

By the time Locke gets to High School, he’s become George McFly. There isn’t a locker that McLocke hasn’t been stuffed into. Alpert once again attempts to reach out to test Locke, by offering him the chance to visit his Mittelos Laboratories Summer Camp. To quote Clarice Starling, “Your anagrams are showing, doctor.” Mittelos. Time Lost?

Finally completing the Locke-centric “This Is Your Life!” journey, Locke is paid another visit while he’s rehabbing his crushed spine at the hospital. This time, however, it’s Abaddon providing the pitch. He suggests Locke goes on an Australian Walkabout. The same Walkabout that ultimately puts Locke on Ocean Flight 815.

Which brings us to the present, on the freighter, where everyone is wishing they’d have spent the extra hundred dollars on the Carnival Cruise. In retrospect, being trapped at sea sweatin’ to the oldies with Richard Simmons doesn’t seem all that bad after all. Instead, Keamy has become a one-man wrecking crew, slitting the throat of the Doc and filling the Captain with shells. Lucky for us and fans of “Love Will Keep Us Together,” we still have Tennille. Keamy forces Frank to fly him and his army back to the island, where they plan to torch the island.

This makes us wonder how we can’t be more than a little happy that Locke, Ben, and Hurley have finally found the cabin. Inside, Locke meets Christian, who speaks on Jacob’s behalf. Even more surprising to Locke, however, is that Claire is also keeping company in the cabin. We almost expect Locke to shout “Am I the only one who couldn’t find this damn cabin? Seriously!” Christian warns Locke that it’s best to keep Claire’s whereabouts hush-hush, while confirming that the people on the freighter are heading their way to cause everyone harm.

Locke exits the cabin and relays the simple mission that’s been laid out to them. “He wants us to move the island.”

Only on this show, could a statement like that not seem the least bit out of the realm of possibility.

Questions Answered

Where is Claire? In Jacob’s cabin, with Christian Shephard.

Why was Claire willing to leave Aaron behind? As Christian said, Aaron is where he needs to be right now. Might this have something to do with the prophecy of the psychic Claire met with back in Australia?

What happened to Ray (the freighter doctor)? Keamy happened to him.

What’s going to happen to Michael now that Sayid has exposed his secret? That’s an easy one. He’s going to get handcuffed to his bed and beaten by Keamy.

Why is Michael unable to kill himself? The Island wouldn’t let him. Obviously he’s still got work to do. Think it was just a coincidence that Keamy’s gun wouldn’t fire in his direction?

Should we trust Captain Gault? It doesn’t really matter now, does it? But given his actions in helping Sayid and Desmond, we think we probably should have.

Why can’t Locke find Jacob’s cabin? Because he had to find Horace Goodspeed first. Plus, if Locke can be expected to move an entire island, it stands to reason that one little cabin could change locations pretty frequently.

Who is Matthew Abaddon? We still don’t know for sure, but one thing’s for certain — he’s “much more than an orderly.” Even when this guy is dishing out advice and encouragement, he is one creepy dude. And we love that.

New Questions To Be Asked

Why was Locke chosen by the island?

Who is Locke’s father? (If not Anthony Cooper, could it be Alpert? Widmore??)

How is Locke supposed to move the island?

What is the significance of the objects that Richard Alpert showed young John Locke?

What exactly is Richard Alpert’s role in the Ben vs. Widmore battle?

If you’ve got questions of your own, send them in and we’ll add them to the list. Check back Monday for a preview of the next episode of Lost, “There’s No Place Like Home: Part 1.”

Photo: Copyright 2008 ABC, Inc./Mario Perez