Ryan Seacrest starts this episode with an über-lame American Idol April Fools’ Day Joke. I will not start this recap with an über-lame April Fools’ Day joke. I think too much of you out there. We then get the soft-focus Dolly Parton introduction. The ‘hey, kids, she’s really important’ package.
First up is Brooke White, and she’s smartly chosen ‘Jolene.’ Dolly likes her choice as well. Brooke is joined by the box drummer, a fiddler and a backup singer. Like most performances, Brooke goes sweet with her interpretation. She makes a song sweet like David Cook goes all rocker on a song. I would’ve been really interested to hear Brooke do the Paula Cole or White Stripes version of this song. Now THAT would’ve been surprising. Now I’m just wondering what David Cook will ‘interpret’ this week. Randy calls it ‘really all right.’ Paula praises Brooke’s consistency. Simon gives some ‘amens’ under Paula’s comments. Simon also thinks that Brooke gave a busker performance, devoid of emotion.
David Cook gets the stool treatment with Ryan. David admits that he finds other people’s takes on songs. Tonight he’s doing his own take on ‘Little Sparrow.’ He’s telling us not to do our own Google search for other interpretations of ‘Little Sparrow’ that might be similar. Dolly said he seems secure in himself. He’s softened the helmet hair, which is good. It also looks like craft service has been good to him. He rocks it, but in a bit more boring way. Randy thinks David has a lot of range with his voice. Didn’t really hear it, but whatever. Paula likes his haircut and thinks he was fantastic. They keep talking about his ‘false’ or ‘falsetto,’ which I didn’t hear at all. Simon doesn’t think it was as good as last week, but that he did well making song about a sparrow interesting.
Update: According to TMZ, David Cook was taken to the hospital, and subsequently released, right after last night’s performance. Stress + High Blood Pressure = possible serious health problems.
Ramiele is actually smaller than Dolly Parton. She’s embarrassed by being star-struck. Dolly likes that she’s little. Ramiele is singing ‘Do I Ever Cross Your Mind’ and thank the good Lord above it’s up-tempo. She’s showing a bit more personality than she has in weeks. Hopefully this will help keep her in the game. Randy wasn’t jumping up & down, but he thinks it was pretty good. Paula is proud of her for connecting with the audience. Simon doesn’t think we’ll remember this in 10 years. He called it forgettable and cruise-ship. He’s not totally off base. She needs a dance-music-themed week in the worst way.
Jason Castro also gets the stool treatment. I’m sensing a theme. Ryan claims to have a stack of postcards from the same girl. Jason seems completely bewildered. Dolly can’t stop touching his dreds. He’s singing ‘Travelin’ Thru,’ which Kathy reminds me lost out on an Academy Award to ‘It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp.’ It is a good choice for Jason — the whole ‘traveling, searching’ type theme fits the dreds. Something pot-related would fit better, but that option is off the table this week. Kathy thinks he looks mildly awake this week. Randy thought it starts rough, but started believing half-way through the performance. Paula thinks it was one of his stronger performances. Simon thinks he’s losing his season pass to Dollywood. He doesn’t get it.
Next is Carly singing ‘Here You Come Again’ because she’s a smart girl. She’s standing next to the guitar player, who’s sitting on the floor. She should’ve started sitting on the floor. It’s a vote lock in the American Idol world. Carly’s rocking some extensions on performance night. She’s not saving them for the results show, no, no. Oh, can we have an Amy Winehouse theme week? Randy thinks she’ll be one of the better performances of the night. Paula is gushing and rags on Randy for being mean to her last week. Simon thought it was good, but not great. He also thinks she needs to have a word with whoever is dressing her since she doesn’t look like a star. Paula gushes again about how beautiful she is, blah, blah, blah. We’ve got to cut to commercial.
Ryan breaks his pattern by starting up the next segment from the audience. David’s up next and he’s singing ‘Smoky Mountain Memories.’ He gets Dolly teary & she worries about her false eyelashes falling off. I love Dolly Parton. Again we get earnest David. It sure is sincere, but I’m wondering how long the earnestness and slighty robotic style will carry him in this competition. He’s a great singer, I just see Svengali Dad floating over him whenever he sings. Randy corrects himself and says THAT was the best performance of the night. Michael Kors is in the house! Whatever Simon said, he liked it, but I saw Michael Kors! Even in low-light he’s orange! Heidi Klum might’ve been there too, but whatever.
Dolly says Kristy looks real pretty. Kristy Lee is singing ‘Coat Of Many Colors’ and Dolly’s liking her selection. Kristy hedges her bets by starting the song seated on the stage. She’s staying seated on the stage a really long time. There was a point I thought she was going to get up, but she goes through another verse seated. She sounds ok, but she’s not the strongest of the night. Performance-wise she’s the weakest. Randy calls it the Kristy Lee week. Paula says she looks beautiful and it’s her best performance. Simon thinks this was pleasant but forgettable. Ryan mentions her bare feet and French pedicure. The camera cuts to her feet that are covered by her dress. Thanks for that, camera guy. We learn before going to commercial that Syesha is singing ‘I Will Always Love You.’ Raise your hand if you’re surprised. Nope, didn’t think so.
Vanna White is in the house! Syesha is apparently doing a combo of Dolly’s version and Whitney’s. That’s a smart move — just doing Whitney would bring the inevitable ‘you’re not Whitney’ comment. She takes a gamble and starts seated on — the piano. Syesha’s a rebel. In true Syesha fashion, she makes the song take… a…. really… long… time to get going. She does pick things up, but she’s way smiling too much before hitting the power notes. She’s not thinking about the song, but that ‘oh, yeah, I can hold this note.’ The conductor from Bugs Bunny’s ‘Long-Haired Hare‘ leaps out onto the stage and commands her to hold that note. Randy likes it, Paula likes it, Simon wishes someone else sang it. He thinks it was good, but not fantastic because she took it to Whitney-town. The comparison is still apt. Apt!
Michael Johns closes the show and his first concert was a Dolly Parton show in 1986. Dolly thinks she can write some good songs for him. He’s singing ‘It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right’ and rocking an ascot. Yeah, baby, yeah! He’s doing well, and made a good selection. It’s a song he could Michael Hutchence-up. Kathy thinks he’s a shouter. Randy calls it blazing hot. Paula thinks Michael is a rock star. She blathers a lot. A lot. Simon thinks it’s the best he’s ever been on the show. Ryan blows through that final phone number so that he can cut to the recap of all the performances.
Well, folks, they’ve saved ‘9-to-5’ for the group number. Excellent. Looking forward to that bit of craptacularness tomorrow on American Idol.
