Didn’t I Watch This Episode of American Idol Already?

Ok, so last week I got caught up in the Star Wars-ness of the new set. This week I notice that in the opening credits, when our anonymous Idols are making their way to the stage, that two of them have a white mist swirl around them. Now, I’m stuck in the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Holy Spirit rains some Wrath of God on some Nazis, but not Indy and Marion because they’re smart enough not to look. I wonder if that’s what it’s like to win American Idol.

While, yes, Paul McCartney and John Lennon are a couple of the most influential songwriters ever, doing two episodes with a Songs Of Lennon And McCartney ‘Cause We Didn’t Get All Of The Beatles Catalog is getting a little old. Maybe if American Idol had waited another few weeks to whip out these songs, I’d be ok with it. Right now two weeks of the same theme just feels like somebody didn’t feel like working a couple of weeks back.

Oh, by popular DEMAND, by popular DEMAND. Thanks, Ryan. Blame us for Idol production laziness. He’s calling it a night of The Beatles, so I’m hoping someone other than Katharine McPhee will get to sing a George Harrison song.

I need to note that David Cook has a stupid rubber bracelet around his hand and Syesha is playing the cleavage card. Smart girl, that one. When in doubt, and when you’re getting low votes, whip out the cleavage. Please note that this is not an effective technique for the guys.

Paula used the word ‘gumption.’ I like that. Ryan is pointing out the Simon is Sexy sign in the house. We then get a package reminding us how big The Beatles were. This is the education portion of American Idol. The Ed Sullivan footage just reminds me of Spinal Tap singing ‘Listen to the Flower People.’ Can we have a Spinal Tap theme week? Please?

Amanda Overmyer starts us off. The ‘getting to know you’ segments are focusing on the most memorable moment of American Idol so far. She has chosen ‘Back In The USSR.’ Not a bad choice for her, but I would’ve rather she did ‘Helter Skelter.’ She starts off with an ‘are you ready?’ That’s usually not a good sign on American Idol. She seems to forget the lyrics at the top of the song and it totally throws her off. She gets back into it by the end of the song, but she doesn’t sound good at all. And she’s in the death slot of the night. Could she be in trouble? Randy gives her a 7 out of 10 because of the beginning. Paula, too, loves her. Gack. Simon says it was predictable and a mess. Thank you, Simon. He cautions that she may become boring. She talks about showing America what they would get if they came to one of her shows. Simon says she might be getting ahead of herself.

Kristy Lee Cook looks through her photo book to remind herself of home. She has pictures of her dog and horse. Her most memorable moment is the fact that she’s been in the bottom two in almost every episode. She’s singing ‘You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away.’ She’s wearing cowboy boots with a knee-length sparkly dress. Ew. She doesn’t try to country it up this week, but she doesn’t sound good or loud enough. It’s not a good song for her. Based on what I’m hearing so far, she may be in the bottom two again this week. She seems like a nice person but that doesn’t cut it. Randy thought it was boring. Paula thinks she looks great, but the song was safe. Simon thinks she needs hypnosis because she’s not a good performer. She’s musical wallpaper — you notice it, but you don’t remember it. He grants that she was better than last week. Apparently The Beatles were new to her. She also throws down that she can blow Simon out of his socks if given another chance. I think she’s had more than enough chances.

Next is David Archuleta and his memorable moment was forgetting his lyrics. Yeah, that would stick with you. They show a shot of him rehearsing and Creepy Dad is in the background. He’s singing ‘The Long And Winding Road.’ He’s back in his comfort zone of the ballad. I’m noticing that he’s got an ear monitor. Is that new this season? I thought contestants weren’t allowed to use them. Maybe with the new stage they changed things. The band is way louder than it was in the past. David sings the song well, so hopefully he’s got some confidence back. Randy says he brought The Hotness back tonight. It was a little safe, but solid. Paula says that he came back strong after adversity. Simon says last week was a complete mess, but this week was amazing. Simon applauds him and says his performance was a Master Class. The tweeny girls are screaming. He seems embarrassed. Apparently Michael Johns is going next. I could see him, but couldn’t hear a word Ryan said. Shriek!

Oh, man, Kelly Pickler is going to perform tomorrow. I’m a Pickle! Then Ryan does this weird thing about using an iPhone and having the judges toast with Coca-Cola. It’s bizarre. I wonder if that was Ryan’s way of ‘rebelling’ against all of the corporate shilling he has to do.

Michael Johns’ memorable moment was singing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ because he was so great doing it. Whatever, today he’s singing ‘A Day In The Life’ which is a bit difficult to squish down to one minute 30 seconds. This is more of a Jason Castro song, only because it’s got that pot vibe on it. Oh, the high note was not good. Then he goes into the whole ‘woke up, got out of bed’ part that’s all of one note. He’s turned a rambling mellow song into something schizophrenic. I kinda don’t get it. Randy doesn’t think he chose the right song. Paula notes that everyone is using monitors for the first time & it seems to be throwing everyone off. Simon says it was a mess — didn’t hit the right notes, the song doesn’t work in the minute & a half format. If Christian from Project Runway were judging, he’d clarify that this performance was a Hot Tranny Mess. We find out in the Ryan bit that Michael isn’t actually wearing the ear monitors, so Paula says he just needs to do better. So he trumps out the sympathy card that the song was the favorite of a friend of his who died last year. I think his friend would’ve rather he picked a song Michael could’ve done better.

Brooke White got to go home last weekend. We’re not told why, but she got to meet her 5-week-old niece. Her memorable moment was singing ‘Let It Be’ because it was meaningful for her. Tonight she’s singing ‘Here Comes The Sun.’ Perfect song for the really positive blonde girl. The audience is clapping along with her and she seems to be having a blast, in a Joni Mitchell sort of way. Randy thinks the performance was a bit awkward to him. I didn’t think she was as awkward as Ryan was doing the iPhone ‘commercial.’ He feels that she never quite connected with the song. Paula says that you can’t help but smile when she sings. She thinks she could’ve challenged herself more. Simon knew that she would be dressed in yellow and the lights would be yellow. He hates it. She tries to have a dialog with the judges, and does a good job of holding her own. I liked it, even though I would agree that she didn’t challenge herself.

Whitesnake Album CoverAnd we’re moving on to Ryan and a bunch of squealy girls. The girls are squealing for David Cook. His favorite moment was last week. He had a good time & he got good feedback. He’ll be doing ‘Daytripper’ and he found a version that Whitesnake did. Yes, Whitesnake. Oh, good Lord above. He’s playing guitar & does a little crappy Whitesnake guitar riff. For some reason there’s a second microphone on the stage. Don’t know if that’s an oops or if he’s going to whip out a harmonica or something. OH, snap, as I type this, he whips out the craptacular mouth-thing that Peter Frampton does. It’s so crappy. Randy doesn’t think it was his best performance, but he still loves the David Cook. Paula thinks his use of the voice box was great. Simon didn’t think it was as good as David thought it was. He thought David looked smug & the voice box was stupid. Thank you, oh voice of reason. David demonstrates to Ryan how to use the voice box thing. David ignores the feedback he was causing. Man, I want to smack that guy. Using Whitesnake as inspiration when you’re doing The Beatles. I feel like I should shower.

We do a bit of blather between Ryan and the judges. Thankfully the producers tell them to wrap it up to keep the show going.

Carly Smithson’s favorite moment was last week because she got great feedback from the judges, too. She’s singing ‘Blackbird’ to show that she can do a ballad. When she’s not running all over the stage, which she does in up-tempo songs, she seems to sing a bit hunched over. It doesn’t help that she’s got this shirt with a collar of roses on it. Randy calls it another great performance by Carly, filled with ‘Cooliosys.’ Randy does not define ‘cooliosys’ for us. Paula loved it, too. Simon doesn’t think it was a smart choice. He thinks the song choice was indulgent. I don’t entirely agree with Simon on this one. She explains why she wanted to sing it — that the industry beats one down and she wants to fly. Simon says that makes him feel awkward. She then shows off her new tattoo — a 7 on her right ring finger. That had to hurt.

Jason Castro’s most memorable moment was singing ‘Hallelujah’ even though he had a bad last note. He’ll be singing ‘Michelle’ and apparently doesn’t know any French. He didn’t know that ‘Ma Belle’ was French. Don’t speak, dred boy. He does an ok French accent. Unfortunately he looks pretty uncomfortable with the performance and for some reason there’s a Hee Haw quality to part of it instead of a French street performer quality. I’m just aight with it. Randy didn’t know if he really connected with it. Jason agrees. Paula feels like he gets disconnected when he’s away from his guitar. She also notes that an intimate song was made a bit sing-songy. Simon says his face sold it because he’s so charming. He also questions the wisdom of doing The Beatles 2 nights in a row. I called all of the judges on this one.

Syesha and her cleavage and her family are up next on Idol. Her most memorable moment was being in the bottom 3. She thinks she needed that kick in the butt to get her to do better. She’s doing ‘Yesterday’ because she sang it in middle school. And the song touches her. She changes it up a little bit, but not to the point of being annoying, and she does it well. She’s sitting next to the guitar player. She’s on a stool, though — she’s not doing the killer move of sitting on the stage. It’s during songs like these that the louder crowd noise is really annoying. The judges unanimously love her. She’s definitely showing more life than she has in performances past.

Ryan comes back from commercial with an older gentleman. This happens for no apparent reason. Then we get Chikezie’s most memorable moment, which was getting compliments from the judges. He’s singing ‘I’ve Just Seen a Face’ and decides that now would be a good time to learn an instrument and perform it on American Idol. Um, Chikezie, the reason why the instruments have been working for other contestants is because they’ve played them for more than a week. I know that I know this song, but I can’t hear the original with Chikezie’s singing and harmonica playing. He gives it a bit of a country vibe. It’s kind of weird. Randy didn’t like the slow part or the harmonica, but he liked the fast part. Paula said Chikezie is showing who he is and she loves it. Simon thought it started ok and then he played the harmonica and it turns into ‘Achy Breaky Heart.’ In the end, Simon feels it was gimmicky.

The people are Ramiele’s most memorable moment. She’s singing ‘I Should Have Known Better.’ She sounds pretty good, although she drops out a bit in spots. She wisely powers some of the notes to make things a bit more interesting. It’s a pretty basic song and could have been boring if she had just done it straight. Randy thinks it was aight, but he really likes the confidence she demonstrates this week. Paula wants her to get back in the Dusty Springfield song. Simon thinks it sounded like Chikezie was on harmonica. He thinks the track sounded horrible, and she picked a mediocre song. Yep, I’d have to agree again.

Once again, Kristy needs to go. Amanda was bad, too, but she’s at least unique.

4 Comments

  1. And CubicleQB, shouldn’t one of them sung ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun?’

    I still stand by my request for a Spinal Tap week. Brooke could so throw it down to ‘Listen (To the Flower People)’ and don’t get me started on David Cook doing ‘Big Bottom.’

  2. Ah, but Mike, that doesn’t separate David Cook and Whitesnake from Ratt. Round and Round.

  3. Sorry, the correct Beatles song choices on American Idol were:
    “Revolution 9” by Chikezie
    “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by Carly Smithson
    “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” by Brooke White
    “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” by Kristy Lee Cook
    “Komm gib mir Deine Hand” by Jason Castro
    “Helter Skelter” by Ramiele Malubay
    “I Am the Walrus” by David Archuleta
    “Mean Mr. Mustard” by Syesha Mercado
    “She’s Leaving Home” by David Cook
    “You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)” by Michael Johns
    “I Wanna Be Your Man” by Amanda Overmyer

  4. What was David Cook thinking? He borrowed an arrangement from Whitesnake but performed the song without Tawny Kitaen or a Jaguar onstage. Doesn’t he know that those were the only two things that distinguished Whitesnake from White Lion and Great White?

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