Survivor: China: Week 5 Recap: The Garden of Schemin’

In the beginning, Jaime and Erik enjoy paradise in what Erik calls the Garden of Eden. The two of them chat away in the water, engaging in the fun and flirty get-to-know-you phase of a relationship. Paraphrased:

Erik: “I have a middle name. It’s Taylor.”

Jaime: “Yeah, I have a middle name, too. It’s Nicole.

Erik: “I like you.”

Jaime: “Yeah, I like you, too.”

Erik: “I’m a virgin.”

Jaime: “… Neat.”

Jaime feels that Erik’s disclosure makes him more trustworthy, and she tells him there’s a hidden immunity idol at camp. Game-wise, the two hope to stick together until the end (life-wise, they’re not as committal).

Each tribe gets a note instructing them to pick two members of the opposing tribe — two warriors who can best strengthen their tribe. Fei Long picks Frosti and Sherea to join their tribe, knowing that they’ll end up losing James and Aaron to Zhan Hu. Zhan Hu does indeed pick James and Aaron, inexplicably believing they’ll just get them for free (paraphrased: “Yay! Now our tribe will outnumber them 7-5! … Oh. Wait. We’re idiots.”).

With mournful music playing as they leave their tribes, James and Aaron join Zhan Hu, and Frosti and Sherea join Fei Long. These four now have to figure out how to stay alive on their new tribes. This appears to be easier for Frosti and Sherea, whose new tribe oozes with the sentiment “WE HATE JEAN-ROBERT.” Before the newcomers arrive, Jean-Robert does get his tribe to reluctantly agree to vote out the new folks first, but I wonder if his intentional unlikability has reached a point of no return. He comments to the camera, “Today is a terrible day for Fei Long, and today is a god-awful day for Jean-Robert.” I have no doubt that had his tribemates heard him say this, they would have hated him even more for referring to himself in the third person.

Before the immunity challenge, Peih-Gee and Jaime talk about throwing the next two challenges so they can kick off James and Aaron and be reunited with Frosti and Sherea at the hoped-for merge. And so even though Zhan Hu jumps out to a big lead in the challenge, Jaime and Peih-Gee purposely muck it up at the end, and they lose.

Yes, throwing the challenge does potentially make strategic sense — Peih-Gee and Jaime looked at the big picture and decided to take a chance. And there have certainly been worse reasons to throw challenges — the “we don’t like slacker boy Billy” reason in Survivor: Cook Islands comes to mind. But I always feel a little sick when I watch a tribe do it. It’s just doesn’t feel right, like it’s breaking some law of Survivor karma. You don’t break promises that you swear upon relatives or God, you don’t lie about your grandma being dead, and you don’t throw challenges. And if you do, don’t be all giggly about it.

James is upset and downright flabbergasted by Peih-Gee and Jaime’s performance in the challenge, and his flabbergastery only increases when it’s revealed at Tribal Council that the women lost the challenge on purpose. Always a hard worker, James is so dumbfounded by the concept of throwing a challenge that he doesn’t want to stay on a tribe where they’re willing to lose, and he says the tribe should vote him out instead of Aaron. So the tribe confounds him yet again and votes out Aaron.

Erik didn’t know about the plan to throw the challenge, so his golden girl in paradise has fallen from grace a little. Going back to the Garden of Eden imagery, you could say that the serpent Peih-Gee offered the challenge-throwing fruit to Jaime, who took a bite and offered it to Erik. … But the analogy doesn’t quite hold up — in the end, Aaron is the one evicted. And by Jeff Probst, who, angelic though he be, extinguishes a torch instead of wielding a flaming sword. And even if you could argue that James’ flabbergasted tirade was like the voice of God addressing the sinners, there’s not really a biblical equivalent to James’ request to “send my ass home.”

Bear with me as I think this through … so if James is not God, then perhaps Peih-Gee is not really a serpent, and her plan is actually ingenious instead of devilish.

There. Now I can feel better about the whole thing.