Picking Up Where We Left Off

So this is how it’s done, huh? By stacking your openers, applying NEGs and DHV which will hopefully lead to IOIs and better KINO, you’ll be put in a position to PHASE-SHIFT, which should lead to a NUMBER CLOSE or KISS CLOSE.

These are the lessons Brady, Kosmo, and Joe D. get from Mystery and the gang on VH1’s The Pickup Artist. This verbiage flows from Mystery’s mouth as automatically as a quarterback barking out his cadence at the line of scrimmage. It all means something. And the more of this you know, the easier the game is.

Unfortunately for the final three in The Pickup Artist, the game’s still too fast for them to handle.

Brady, Kosmo, and Joe. D. were given a challenge of spending an afternoon on a bridge frequented by women jogging and dog-walking, with the eventual goal of a number close. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, so it takes talent to get a girl to stop what she’s doing and give her number out to a stranger.

Our guys don’t have that talent, yet. Even after all this time.

None of the men got numbers. But there was more than enough humiliation to go around. After another lesson from Mystery, the final three were given one last competition to find out who would be immune from elimination. In the movie Dodgeball, it was said that if you could dodge a wrench, you could dodge a ball. Mystery must agree, as his idea is if you could pick up an exotic dancer from a club, without paying her, and then number closing, then you could pick up any girl anywhere.

Joe D. fell into the usual friend trap, which has plagued him his whole life. Instead of phase-shifting his exotic dancer (turning conversation from ordinary to something more sexually charged), Joe continued talking about teddy bears and unicorns. Or at least, that’s what it could’ve been about as far as the dancer was concerned.

Kosmo’s game was much tighter. He threw playful negs (seemingly accidental, non-hurtful insults to show a lack of interest) at his target and she responded favorably. But when it was time to number-close, she — albeit with real disappointment — already had a boyfriend. Wuh-wuh.

And then there was Brady, whose game continues to get better and better. Brady was able to get his exotic dancer to end her shift early, to change into street clothes (since she wasn’t allowed to go outside in her “uniform”), and meet him in his limo for a drink. Oh, and he skipped number close and went right to kiss close.

Obviously enough to win him immunity, it was Joe D. and Kosmo on the chopping block. Mystery tried to add suspense by pretending he didn’t know who to eliminate. But it was clear there was only one choice. Joe D. was still bogged down in the friend mode and week after week, still failed to create attraction.

Next week’s finale pits Brady against Kosmo. Brady’s game improves every week. But, Kosmo’s potential is obvious. If it all comes together, Kosmo could give Brady a run for his money. I’m going with the upset. I say Kosmo in a shocker.

What say you?