originally posted — October 2009

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Alton Brown Dishes Season 2 Of "The Next Iron Chef" ... And Why A Jellyfish Is Not Good Eats

By Lori Acken

Soooo ... can you give me something of an example of one of those tests?

No, I can't! I can't and I won't! There's a Food Network representative right here with a gun, with a sight on me and she'll cap me! It would be like, "Yeah, I'll tell you ... grghhkkkkk."

I would not want to be part of that disclaimer on the show.

So ... winning any Food Network competition is now about more than just upping your cooking cred. Now you stand a pretty decent chance of upping your TV time, too, and maybe even scoring a show of your own. Do you think that's become something of which the contestants are aware or — at least at the outset — is it strictly about flaunting their food skills?

[Sighs] Hmmmmm. I'll tell you one thing. I think that there's a certain number of people who sign on for that competition who assume that if they don't have one skill, they'll make up for it with another. But you can be the best chef in the world, the best cook in the world, whatever you want to call it, and, in the end, if you don't know how to make the camera yours, you're not going to make it. This is still entertainment above all. All television is.

And let's face it. People can't taste your food through the TV. Yet. I am sure someone is working on that.

So I think that some people get surprised by that. Or they think that being on television is simply a skills set that can be obtained the way you learn how to confit duck. But you know what? It isn't. You can be taught some tricks at becoming better. But you either have it or you don't.

It's intangible.

I just wondered, because these days you see someone on this show and suddenly he's on that one and this other one and another one ... and that has to be in folks' minds when they appear on a show. Doesn't it?

I don't know! I live in my own world. My show, Good Eats, is made in Atlanta out of my own company ... I don't have a restaurant ... I don't have a restaurant background ... so I don't know how that works.

On Good Eats, I don't pay attention to anyone's wishes but my own. I do what I do and if someone wants to pay me for that, great. If not, I'll move on.

On that subject, the last time we spoke, it was to discuss your 100th episode. Now you're doing your 10th anniversary ...

Gainfully employed for 10 years. Who woulda thunk it?

But did I ever think it would happen? Nooooo. I never think ahead more than a year at a time. It's one of my bad habits. I don't think about the future very often.

Even in terms of thinking up show topics and how to keep things fresh?

You know, that's easy. Because it's an infinite subject. Part of teaching is artful repetition and if you're going to be a good teacher, you have to repeat yourself every once in a while ... you have to. Because there are only 20 basic tenets of cooking. And there are only seven basic molecular structures that you have to understand. Maybe eight.

So it's all storytelling. My imagination will run out way in advance of the subject extinguishing itself.

But you've also got much of the same class that's coming back for your instruction, episode after episode.

I only think one show at a time. As far as I am concerned, every time I start one, it's the first one and the last one. The only thing I think about as far as a list is what I want to avoid doing. Repeating a subject is one thing, but reusing a method or a dramatic device — that's, ehhh, tacky.

I still think it has to be exhausting though, after 10 years, because your shows are so inventive and complex, and the props that you use and the analogies ...

...which is why I say I'll drop before the subject does. I'll finally just go, "Aaaauuugh, I'm too old for this!"

Did you have an idea from the start that Food Network would become the phenomenon that it is?

Food is the last great common element in American culture. Because of the Internet, God love it, we've become very fractured, very micro-cultured. Very little do we hold in common any more. I think our recent political and financial stresses show that — that we are quite capable of tearing ourselves apart by focusing on our differences. And isolating ourselves into subcommunities.

Food is just about the last thing that we hold in common. And because we still crave that commonality, Food Network will always have sway. Because that common element is the first name of our network. And I think people are just drawn to it.

Whether you can afford to cook with the best ingredients, whether you can afford to go out to eat or whether you can't, it's still a focal point of human existence. And I think that certainly from the cooking part — not just the food part or the travel part — cooking is a great expression of self-reliance. And I think that as we live in a world that is increasingly technically advanced, any skill that is elemental to life is appealing.

Plus, in my family, if people love you, they feed you. Before they'd tell you, they'll feed you. So there's an emotional connect ...

That's right! It's love on a plate. It's very emotional. It's a very emotional subject.

Do you have plans for another Feasting On ... series?

Well, do you think I should?

I think you should.

Then you should write into Food Network and tell them that.

I have to think up another mode of transport for you first.

Ohhhhh, there are plenty! Trains. Planes. Feasting On Air.

Feasting On Air. Mmmm. Filling ...

Well, that's just me.

I'll watch for it. In the meantime, you're also about to release the first installation of Good Eats: The Early Years.

Yeah! We waited ten years to do a Good Eats book. It's a trilogy, and it'll be out in October and it is basically 84 chapters. Each of the first 84 episodes have their own chapter. And we went back and basically redid all the food. Retested. Rebuilt. Retooled. Remastered, as we say.

Because, when you have ten years to look back over it, you realize, "Oh, I would have done this different." Or, "I've eaten this 300 times since then and I've decided to change this." So, really, everything's new.

Just thinking about the logistics of that ... you're in Atlanta, you're in New York, you're in Los Angeles, you're in Tokyo, you're on Good Eats, you're on Iron Chef, you're on Next Iron Chef. When did you start, in order to get ten years completely redone?

[Laughs, wearily] I don't know! I don't know. I will tell you this. The manuscript for the second volume is woefully behind schedule. I may fake my own death to buy myself some more time.

Well, you know what we could do here is you could just tell me about the challenges on The Next Iron Chef and then the Food Network person will shoot you and there's your excuse!

Not a chance, lady! If I'm going to die, I'm not going to be shot by a Food Network person in a suite at the Four Seasons! No way! You're not getting a scoop out of me about any of the nuuuumerous and fascinating challenges that the chefs have to go through! Not me, lady!

All right, then ... was there any type of food involved that you were surprised to see ... hamburgers?

I'm never surprised to see food! It's Food Network! And actually, there is some hamburger, yes ...

What else did I see here? Jellyfish?

There might be.

I have not seen Good Eats: Jellyfish.

And odds are you are not going to see a Good Eats episode about jellyfish. Typically we will only do things that people can actually buy in a grocery store or readily obtain online. Typically.

Besides, whoever wakes up in the middle of the night and yells, "Dagnabbit, I wish I had some jellyfish!" NO! Nobody actually wants jellyfish! I have never heard anybody say, "What this plate needs is jellyfish!"

Truthfully? I had no idea you can even eat a jellyfish.

Loggerhead turtles like 'em.

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originally posted — October 2009